the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
