How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
