Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
