I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
