To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
