so that wasnt chicken after all
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize