Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
