Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
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