Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize