Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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