She said her name was "party"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
