It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
