Pants 0. Shit 1.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
