What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
