I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
