in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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