We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
