just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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