I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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