Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize