I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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