There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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