I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
