So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
