i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
