so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
