Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
