I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
