pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize