Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
