I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
