But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
