so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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