final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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