Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
