We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
