dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize