So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
