You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
