I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
