We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
