There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
