I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Screwed.edu
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
