No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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