Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
