what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
