Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
