I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
