When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
