u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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