So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
