Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
