that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
