so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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