Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize