My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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