Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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