the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
