im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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