he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
