I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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